The Dismal Story of a Burned Out Candle
by SnowWriter
Summary: Set towards the end of MJ. Katniss isn't there any more. She's totally insane and is a threat to herself and others. Who can save her from her imaginary monsters? T for violence.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Sorry if it's confusing.**

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><p>It's dark all the time now. I haven't seen the sun for forever.<p>

Recently, I have to keep everything in lists just so I can tell if I'm delusional or not.

_1. My name is Katniss._

_2. It's all my fault._

But this is as far as I ever get.

"You filthy girl. Look at you! Living when you should be dead. That's why your sister died, you know. She hated looking at a killer everyday so she went and blew herself up!" My mother tells me. She's right.

"Sweetheart?" A man walks down the decrepit stairs to the mostly blown up cellar that I'm cowering in. He looks around as if to find me. His eyes skim past the pile of wood and stone I have made a fort out of. I dig through my mind to remember his name.

"Haymitch?" His head swivels towards where I am sitting and his face contorts from one of worry to one of anger.

"Damn it, Katniss! Why do you run off? You're going to get yourself put away if you don't start listening to me."

My mother cackles. "See what a horrible person you are? Causing all this trouble for everyone. You are nothing but a nuisance."

Haymitch takes me back to my home. Sometimes he'll stay with me for awhile but this time he excuses himself saying he has to work on something.

As the door closes behind him I grab my jacket and work basket from the table in the kitchen and I leave through the back door.

Inside the basket are 24 clay sculptures of some sort of wolf with vicious teeth and all are about three inches tall and nine inches long. On my bad days I remember why I make them but today I can't. I place them all carefully down in the yard surrounding my house making sure they won't fall over. There are already so many figurines I can't walk normally without crushing one so I walk one my tip toes.

I here angry voices drifting over from an open window in Haymitch's house. I sneak over to the window and crouch below it.

I can't make out much but it sounds like he's pleading with someone over the phone. I catch the words "I can't handle her anymore... She's out of control!".

I wonder if he's talking about me.

I wonder who he's talking to.

I stand up slowly too scared for haste. Then my instincts kick in.

I back away quickly and turn to make a run for it. The smell of roses is heavy in the air. I fall onto a sharp hard rock. My breath rushes out of my lungs.

And in sudden clarity I realize. Snow is coming for me.

Air fills my lungs again. A breif moment of relief from terror. At least I wont suffocate.

Monsters are surrounding me. Big, ugly wolf mutts sniff at me and tease their long teeth on my skin. Torturing me with fear.

They want vengeance. They are not going to kill me quickly. Tears leak from my eyes.

The one closest to my face locks eyes with me. Rue.

My sobs become uncontrollable.

Rue's eyes are full of hatred. She whispers in my ear, "You should have saved me."Her sharp fangs tear through my skin.

I scream.

A stream of profanities come from Haymitch's open window.

The other mutts take Rue's lead and tear into my skin. My whole world is pain. All my other senses are drowned out by this tear and snap and rip of skin and bone and muscle.

"Katniss! It's alright. It's not real. Please, please. Calm down."

Rue buries her teeth into my chest and rips out my heart.

A needle pricks my skin. Arms lift me up. A door closes and I recognize the harsh smell of Haymitch's home surronding me. I can hear the mutts outside fighting over my heart.

I am laid down and course hands cover me with a soft blanket.

The last thing I am aware of is Haymitch's voice.

"Are you still there? You need to come... Yes, she's fine... No. I'm not sure... Will you just shut up and let me talk for once? I know I said I could handle this while you were away but she needs to see you... No. I can't call anyone else... God damn it, Gale! Katniss needs you! Isn't that enough?... Good. I'll see you in two days."

A phone is hung up.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**

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><p>When I woke up it was late afternoon. I sit up and rub my eyes. I am seated on an unfamiliar bed.<p>

Standing up, I walk out into the living room. The decor is familiar in it's sparsness and abuse. Haymitch's home.

Haymitch's sarcastic voice comes from behind me. "You're up, sweetheart. I was begining to worry."

"How long was I out?" I turn around and gasp. His face is and lower arms are covered in scratches.

"Two days."

"Two days? Hmm..." I glance around me. The words two days tickle at my memory. I glance back at him and his marred face. "I'm sorry."

His reply is unheard. My attention span is short today.

I notice something on the table and I walk over to it. My basket and jacket. The basket has a few mangled pieces of clay in it.

I frantically begin fixing them because it's my job. I'm supposed to make these clay models of my nightmares for reasons I don't truly understand. But I know it's for Rue. And the others. All the ones I killed. Thresh, Cato, Glimmer, Marvel, Rue are just some of them. And they're just from the games. How many people have I killed just walking through the streets? How many people have I killed just by talking to them?

After what seems like only a minute I look up and see the clock has moved it's hands an hour more than when I last saw it. Haymitch has gone and there is food in front of me. A bowl of plain chicken broth, a mug of tea, and two pieces of toast. I scowl at the tea. Haymitch won't let me drink anymore after I almost killed myself by drinking to much. I push away the tray of food and resume working on my wolf mutts.

By the time I look up again two hours have passed. I fixed all the broken ones and I've made four new ones in a little over three hours. I marvel at the detail in each one and how perfect each hair I have drawn on them is.

I notice that the misties - that's what I call them - haven't bothered me today. I'm glad. Their verbal abuse is torturous. Even if they are right.

The back door squeaks open and I can hear Haymitch's voice.

"You'll have to be very cautious. Anything can set her off on a good day."

"On a bad day?" Another voice asks. _Is that... Gale? No it can't be. _Then I remember that conversation Haymitch had over the phone two days ago. He had said Gale.

"On a bad day... You know what? Let's just hope it's a good day."

Their footsteps are nearing. I panic. I can't let him see me broken like I am.

I lunge at the front door and run outside. Panting, I dive into a bush just under the window that was open before. It's still open.

"Sweetheart? You there? Gale's come to see you... She's not inside. Damnit! Where the hell did she go?"

"Looks like she headed this way..."

Two sets of feet appear before my eyes. They amble a bit, calling my name. My heart quickens. Wait... that can't be right. The mutts ate my heart. I shouldn't have a pulse. I should be dead.

I squeeze my eyes shut and when I open them again Haymitch's eyes bore into my own from between the leaves separating us.

I shut my eyes again. _If I pretend he's not there he won't be..._

"Sweetheart, you know that's not going to work. Come out and be a good girl. Gale's come to visit you."

When I refuse to budge his tone turns hard and cold. "_Now._"

I grumble but crawl out of the bush.

"Good. Now say hello to your friend."

I look up. It is Gale. Tears well up in my eyes. I hadn't realized how lonely I was with just a former hunger games mentor as my only contact with society.

I make to hug Gale because he looks like he wants to but is afraid of how I'll react.

But then I stop dead in my tracks. My head swivels to the side.

Prue sits in the grass a few meters away.

But she is not my Prue. Her skin is greenish and knarled. Her irises a bloody red. Her right foot twisted backwards.

She stands and makes a few awkward steps towards me.

I stand frozen in horror as she closes the distance between us. _This isn't the real Prim. It can't be. This is something Snow cooked up to torture me._ And it's working.

She extends her thin arms as if to embrace me.

Her cold hand grazes my right arm and I snap out of my fear induced trance.

I stumble backwards and the spot she touched feels like it's on fire. I fall onto the uneven ground.

Prim cocks her head and looks at me sadly. She opens her mouth to speak but all that comes out is a gargle of blood dripping down her chin.

I almost vomit but my stomach is too empty to produce anything other than dry retches.

Prim walks past me and disappears down the road heading to town.

Even though she was a fake Prim her absence hurts more than anything I think I've ever felt.

But I don't think I can follow. I rejected her and now she hates me. That's why she left.

I'm sobbing too loudly to hear Haymitch's and Gale's hushed conversation.

"...Katniss?" Gale is in front of me now and he whispers like he's afraid I don't know who he is.

I battle within myself for a moment. He's the man who killed my sister. But then I remember that's not true. I was the one who killed her.

I throw my arms around him, craving human touch. He wraps his arms around me like I am something precious.

Once I cannot cry one more tear Gale lifts me from the lawn and takes me inside. I cling to him scared of the scorpions that have suddenly appeared on the grass.

He sets me down where I was sitting before and sits next to me. Haymitch brings me another tray of food then leaves excusing himself to go down to the small market in town.

I push the food away - another bowl of soup, water, and two pieces of toast. Gale grabs my hand and forces a spoon into it.

"Catnip. I need you to eat. You're so skinny."

I yank my arm from his grasp and drop the spoon on the floor.

"Make up your mind. Do you want me to go or stay?"

"Huh? Catnip, that doesn't make any sense. Now, please eat. For me?"

I ignore him. "You have to choose Gale. Do you want me dead or not?"

There is a short silence as he mulls through my words.

"...You think I want you... dead?"

He sounds horrified.

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	3. Chapter 3

**Hello~! Thanks for reading/reviewing/alerting/favorting or anything else that I forgot to mention.**

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><p>xXxXxXxXxXx<p>

I ignore him. "You have to choose Gale. Do you want me dead or not?"

There is a short silence as he mulls through my words.

"...You think I want you... dead?"

He sounds horrified.

xXxXxXxXxXx

"Of course, Gale. Why else would you leave? Not to mention what they say." I hadn't meant to say the last thing. I clap my hand over my mouth.

He abruptly moves to the coffee table in front of me. "What? Who are they? What did they say to you?" His voice is all hard and iced and his eyes are full with urgency.

I look away to the floor. There's a funny colored stain on the carpet.

"I... I can't say."

He gently tugs my chin up so my eyes meet his.

"Katniss, please tell me. I don't want you dead. And no matter what you do or say I won't judge you."

"Promise?" The word slips from my mouth like a sigh.

"I promise." Is all he says though it looks like he wants to say more.

"It's the misties. They say all the awful things. They say... you want me dead."

"The... misties do?"

I nod. "They're the ones that aren't too solid. They don't try to hurt me like the furies do. They just say stuff."

He looks like he's in pain. "When you came out of that bush... what was that?"

"One of the furies. She was a new one though and much nicer than the rest."

"She?" He removes his hands from my face and cups my hands in his.

At this point I shut up. I've already said too much and I'll pay for it later.

Gale notices the subtle locking of my jaw.

"You don't have to tell me. And I do not want you dead. Now, please, please, please, Katniss, please will you eat something?"

"I-I can try."

"Thank you."

He watches as I fumble with the spoon dropping it two more times before he finally takes it from me.

"Here. Let me do that for you."

"No, Gale. I can take care of myself."

"Really? He raises an eyebrow.

I can't reply. The misty of Rue is standing behind Gale glaring at me. She spits on the spoon he's holding in his hand.

He takes my silence as permission and starts to move the spoon into the bowl.

"Stop!" He jumps, startled. "Stop. Can you- can you get a different spoon please?"

If he thinks this is strange he doesn't let on as he walks into the kitchen.

"And I can feed myself!" I call.

He comes back in a minute and hands me a new spoon. Rue looks angry.

"Here you go."

"Thank you." I shakily make my way through half the bowl of soup before I feel like I'm going to burst. I push the tray away.

Gale has moved back to his original spot next to me and he places the tray on the coffee table.

My eyelids feel like someone tied heavy rocks to them. I feel so sleepy it's almost painful.

Gale wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me closer to him. I snuggle into his side finding a warmth in his body I haven't felt in mine for a long time.

I am asleep in a matter of seconds.


	4. Chapter 4

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><p>I sneak out early this morning from underneath Gale's arm. When I woke up we were still both on the couch and there was a cramp in my neck.<p>

I leave quietly using the skills I have acquired from the games and from hunting.

My footsteps are light.

I close the door quietly behind me.

_**Gale's POV**_

I am happy for the first time in a very long time. But I am scared too. Half the time she can't even tell what is real or not real. She isn't _my_ Katniss. My Katniss was fierce and guarded. This Katniss is scared and vulnerable and strangely hard. I am scared by her.

What happened to her?

Was it my fault? I killed Prim. Is that what pushed her over the edge?

Is that I didn't stay with her and instead left to help build a new society?

I don't know the answer.

I stir slightly on the couch, pulling her closer to me.

But my hand only grabs air.

My eyes shoot open.

"Katniss?" Her name echoes throughout the house. She isn't here.

I shoot of the couch and yell. "Haymitch!"

There's a muffled groan.

"Haymitch! Get up! Katniss is gone!" There's a few more groans that sound like curses.

He barrels out of a doorway in rumpeled clothes. His eyes are bloodshot. He strides over to the window and peers out.

"Where did she go?" He asks himself. Then, to me, he asks, "Are you ready to go on a wild goose chase?"

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**Thanks for reading!**

-SnowWriter


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